Entering 2018

There won't be any NYE post this year, simply because I haven't done much writing in 2017 ...either. I don't know. Maybe I should just give up on this blog once and for all? Or maybe I should just change its direction into something mainstream and rather boring? I really don't know anymore. I'm not even sure if I care anymore.

What I do know is that I'm desperately hoping that 2018 will be a much better year than the previous one. Sure, I've had good times, and bad... I've met amazing people and I've experienced things I didn't think I would, but my life is nowhere near where I want it to be. I'm nowhere near where I want to be. And quite frankly, I'm not even sure if it's possible to get there anymore.

Seems like I'm constantly being weighed down by my circumstances. Like I'm never going to get afloat or even make it a few meters along my designated path before someone or something stops me, or even throws me off my path. Is this the way I'm going to live the rest of my life? A life of constant disappointment and cancelling of plans? Not because I can't follow through, but because there's no one having my back?

I'm sick of it. I can't live my life like this. Am I not worth more? I want to go back to honest writing, the type of writing where you feel what I felt when I wrote the words you're reading. Like I used to. It's quite possible that my diary/blog would be filled with negativity and depressing posts, but at least it would be honest.

What happened to me? Where did I go?

Posted by Shamini on January 1, 2018 – 4:54 PM

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