dysfunksjonell.no
27Oct/110

How can I put it?

I don't expect people to understand my situation without knowing me. I'm well aware of the fact that my constant blogging of makeup and shopping makes me look like somewhat of a superficial rich bitch, but the truth is that I rarely use makeup. I'm not the kind of girl who has to wear five layers of makeup before leaving the house, but I really enjoy playing with colors, creating what I think of as art. Let's call it an escape from real life? It makes me happy, and I love waiting for the arrival of Mr. Postman. As most of you already know I've been struggling with my health over the past year. I've been drained for energy and makeup has been on the bottom of my to-do list. I've still appreciated the sometimes rapid visits from Mr. Postman and Mr. DHL, and I've enjoyed every little piece I've received even though I haven't been doing my makeup for a long time. Because of my handicap I have quite limited arm strength, so some days it's almost impossible for me to lift my arms into position, and hold them there, while doing my makeup. On days like that I leave my makeup alone, and it's alright. I deal. I still enjoy my makeup addiction, admiring all the little bits and pieces I've collected over the last few years. No, I'm not rich, I just choose to spend whatever money I have left after I've been a responsible adult by paying my bills, on makeup and things that make my day a little brighter. It might be materialistic and superficial, but that's my choice. Over the past year I've really needed these small things to look forward to, to get me through each day, and now that I'm starting to find answers, feeling better, my addiction seems to be slowly fading away. I have been shopping over the last couple of months, and a collective haul post will indeed come, but I've been a lot more sensible about my shopping. I haven't been throwing money around like a maniac, I've researched swatches and quality before buying, I've tried to use coupons and discount codes, and I haven't purchased everything I've wanted - like I used to, uncritically. I've been a fairly good girl, and I'm proud of myself - even though I'm not quite there yet. Yesterday my fiancé (!) built a construction in the bedroom for my vanity mirror, making it a lot easier for me to access to play with my makeup whenever I feel like it, and I love him for that. Now I just hope my energy and inspiration will return slowly, but surely. At least it seems like I'm heading in the right direction.

I'm not writing this post because I feel like I owe anyone any explanations, but seeing that a written medium like a blog lacks both facial expressions and tone of voice when trying to communicate something to my readers, I just wanted to put my thoughts into words, or at least try to. I'm not superficial, and I'm not rich, I just found a way to cope though a whole year of frustrations, hardships and my own personal hell. And materialistic or not, it really did its part in helping me fight through the darkest of days.

Haul: M·A·C Paint Pots

M·A·C hasn't released anything lately that has really captured my attention, I've found their new collections both boring and blah.. in general, but when Posh Paradise came out with eight new Paint Pots even I couldn't resist getting a few of them. I have a kind of ambivalent relationship with Paint Pots. I'm not very big on using bases when I do my makeup (a primer is a must though), and I absolutely hate "Painterly" - a so-called 'Holy Grail' base for many makeup lovers out there.

The other day I looked through my spreadsheet - yes, I have a spreadsheet for my makeup collection - where I counted 10 Paint Pots, plus these three new ones, and I'm embarrassed to confess that most of them remain unused. I think the main reason is that I tend to steer away from time-consuming activities like putting down a base, but I've promised myself to start using these more often. I have a lot of good ones in my collection, and I really don't want to see them go to waste. At least I'm honest, as opposed to in denial.

MAC Paint Pots: Idyllic, Pure Creation and ImaginaryIdylic · Pure Creation · Imaginary

I wasn't planning on getting anything from Posh Paradise, but since things seldom go as I plan, I ended up choosing "Idyllic" (mid-tone copper bronze), "Pure Creation" (mid-tone frosty blue) and "Imaginary" (blackened navy). These colors are beautiful! Maybe especially "Imaginary", just take a look at these swatches by Jennifae. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided on "Pure Creation" though, but if you have any good ideas on how to use it.. feel free to leave me a comment below!

Did you get anything from M·A·C Posh Paradise?

Photo © Shamini Thevarajah '11

Posted by Shamini on October 27, 2011 – 1:32 AM

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  1. I was going to get the gold one, but it was sold out! I did get my hands on Nubile though, which I have been using on my lid as a base every day this week. Never loved Painterly, but this one suits me better in color I must say!

    • I was pondering getting “Genuine Treasure”, but since I seem to be “allergic” to glitter I decided to forget about it. I’m being sensible, can you believe it? The one Paint Pot I’ve been using is “Soft Ochre”. It’s so much softer and smoother than “Painterly”, and it’s a nicer color for my skin tone.

  2. They all look so gorgeous on her swatches! I especially enjoyed Nubile, I must say. It looks like a shade I’d get a lot of use of – but hey, I guess I don’t really NEED more paint pots Razz

  3. Oh, this post is all strange. I thought it was two different posts? But it’s the same? About the paint pots and your health? Colour me confused Smile

    Anyway, you suffered a great deal and chose to use makeup and the shopping of that as a coping mechanism. We all have coping mechanisms, and a lot of them are a lot worse/stranger than makeup – so you don’t owe us any explanation, and certainly don’t need to defend yourself. Just think of all the crazy things you could’ve done!

    I’m glad your most hurtful period seems to be over, and wish you all good things for you, love <3 Can't wait to see you tomorrow! Hugs

    • I know, and I’m sorry. I’m all confused myself. I feel the need to explain myself, even though I haven’t gotten a single nasty comment about my shopping or makeup addiction. I have no idea why, and every time I try to compose something I feel like I’m whining. Constantly. Yes, I feel like I need to defend myself, and I don’t even know why! See, I’m in dire need of a psychologist. Wink

      Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope you know how much you really mean to me. I’ve grown very fond of you, and I’ll consider you a very good friend for the rest of my life! Can’t wait to see you either, I’m sorry it took some time though. <3 Hugs!

  4. Can I also add that before even reading that post, it’s exactly what I thought without you even telling me. Because I do the same thing! Make-up and colors and collecting is a way of escaping the realities of life sometimes, and I don’t think you should feel guilty about it as long as you can afford it and aren’t putting yourself into serious debt or worse. Lately I have been better at ‘being good’ and saved myself some money, but I am still completely seduced every time I enter a Sephora. It runs through my blood!

    • I don’t think I could put myself into debt over anything that’s not utterly important, like a house or an apartment, or maybe a car. I’ve been good too, but I’m somehow divided, since I don’t really understand why I should be good – apart from saving the money, of course. Complex much? Wink

      I’m glad to know I’m not alone though! It helps. And Sephora? Completely impossible to withstand, no question about that. Somehow I always find something new I wanna try, or just simply add to my collection, and I end up placing an order, and maybe another order – and there you have it.

  5. Jag förstår dig helt och hållet.
    Jag använder inte makeup varje dag och jag vet att flera av mina vänner anser att mitt makeup/smycke samlande är lite underligt. När jag någon gång inte har råd att t.ex fara ut på krogen med dem brukar de säga “ja men hur skulle det vara om du skulle sluta köpa makeup och smycken då?”
    Mitt svar är “Varför skulle jag sluta med något jag tycker om att göra..?”
    Det är inte så att jag köper för att jag är rik… jag är studerande, jag lever på 356 euro i månaden som kommer från studiestöd… mycket mindre efter att jag betalat mina räkningar. Ibland får jag lön då jag arbetat några timmar/dag.
    Jag väljer att köpa makeup och smycken för att jag samlar och för att jag älskar att slappna av efter en dag med skoljobb/föreläsningar/arbete genom att ta fram makeup och skapa en makeup look.
    Jag älskar fotografering och att måla och för mig är makeup ett sätt att måla.. skillnaden är bara att ansiktet är målarduken.
    Jag har en stor samling smycken och makeup… jag är medveten om att många andra inte har det.. men det är MINA pengar och jag tar hand om mina räkningar och jag ser till att min fästman, vår katt och jag mår bra.
    Jag ger mina nära och kära presenter till jul och födelsedagar och andra dagar.. att jag då inte har råd med krogrundor är något som verkligen inte rör mig ett dugg.
    Jag gör det jag vill och det jag njuter av.
    Man behöver inte vara rik för att ha en hobby..
    Du skall verkligen inte ha dåligt samvete… vi har en hobby som kanske får oss att verka högmodiga eller rika.. men VI vet att saken är en annan och så länge du mår bra har ingen något att säga om saken Smile
    Kram

    • Glömde säga: Tänk sedan då jag får barn, om jag får en dotter.. så många fina smycken hon då får ärva.. eller ifall min son vill ha några av smyckena. Jag ser det inte som bort kastade pengar Smile

    • Personlig ville jeg mye heller ha brukt pengene mine på smykker og sminke (eller annen hobby), enn å dra på byen for å drikke bort pengene, så det har jeg ingen problemer med å skjønne.

      Takk for fine ord, Anna! Jeg setter virkelig pris på å høre at andre har det som meg, deler mine tanker og syns at det er helt i orden. Smile Klem!

  6. Hva skulle jeg vel gjort uten lesere som dere? Dere legger alltid igjen så fine kommentarer til meg, og dere får meg alltid i bedre humør, uansett. Smile Tusen takk, jenter! <3

  7. “materialistic and superficial” is so far from how I would describe you,-enjoy the small things in life that makes you happy <3


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