dysfunksjonell.no
21Aug/030

Chaos in my head..

Two days ago I was visiting Else, my sister. While I was there, I cuddled my sweet kitten, and I must say he's the most wonderful kitten in the whole world! He stayed in my lap for several hours, and just curled up and enjoyed being cuddled with. I'm really happy that I'm getting him! I just hope Dordi will love him just as much as I do. Sometimes he just looked at me, and then he went back to sleep...

I've still got chaos inside my head, but this time it's a different kind of chaos. I'm not going to write very much about it, since I think it's rather private - but I'll share, when I'm ready. I'm feeling happy, but confused - and everything is because of my feelings. Will this havoc never end? Smile Anyway, these are good feelings, so I'm not complaining, I just wish I for once in my life knew what I really wanted. I need to learn to follow my heart - but it's hard, 'cause it usually leads to misery and pain, but I guess I need to start trusting myself - making a choice. I might be back today, writing more - don't know how to express myself.

21:40 - Now I've posted a few pictures of my cutie! Isn't he wonderful? I'm a little sad that the first picture came out so blurry, but I wanted to show it anyway. Do you have a name suggestion for him? I'd like to go for Loke or Odin, but if you have a better name for him, please e-mail me or leave a note in my guestbook.

I've been thinking a little more, and I talked to Linda B. again. She's really a great friend, and I don't know what I would have done without her in my life. Today she dusted me with some "self-confidence powder", to prevent me from being so negative. I'm sorry Linda, but you know me, and you know about eveything that's happened - it's not easy to be positive always, but it helps with you around. I just wish you had lived closer, so that we could have talked over a cup of coffee every day - complaining to eachother about men, dogs and chinchillas! That would have been great, huh? I love you, always! And I'll always be here for you, if you need me in any way - just as I know you are for me. Smile Take care, we'll talk later or tomorrow. Smile

Posted by Shamini on August 21, 2003 – 5:10 PM

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